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When Your Child Does Not Subscribe To Your Faith

Updated: Jan 17

Kwong Wai Cheng



A short, unplanned chat with a seemingly ordinary woman taught me an immense lesson about true love, surrender and faith in God.


When your child does not subscribe to your faith... This is like every Christian parent's nightmare. How do parents come to terms with this? Recently, I stand convicted and taught to see through the eyes of love.


This is what the amazing mother told me: Faith is a personal journey. No one can walk it for us. In the same way, parents can't do it for our kids. No matter how much we love them, it can't, and can never be forced. Doing so will only bring greater harms and pain. Yes, it breaks our hearts that our children do not want to be a Christian, but it will be wrong if they are just going through the motion to make us happy, and end up hating God in their hearts!


God never intended it to be this way. God wants us to pass down our convictions. But if we are forcing faith down their throat, what kind of conviction is that?


Instead this mother chose to give her child the time and space to find herself and find her own true faith in God. In the process, the child may get cheated, hurt and "damaged", and still choose a different faith. For this mother, all these don't make the child less or less loved. She still loves her child deeply, and desires daily to get connected with her. What helps her to do this is:


...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6 NIV)


This to me is the epitome of a Christian parent - to entrust our children to God, confident that God will carry it on to completion, in His timing, in His way, no matter what intense emotions we battle within and without... And it is also my prayers that God will bless this mother's incredible faith in good time. Truly she is such a good role model for all of us parents!


For youths reading this, this is not a ticket for you to demand that your parents leave you alone to do whatever you want. Instead, try to understand the great struggles that your parents are going through in this area; empathise with this painful dilemma, and no matter what, always seek that connection with your parents, and with God.


And we will rejoice all the more, when the day of completion comes.



Kwong Wai Cheng

Wai Cheng is fascinated with words, especially the Word. Her life has always been revolving around words/Word, in one way or another. And she hopes to always hold fast to the Word, to draw strength and gain wisdom, to do the right things in God's sight.

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